I have two hopes for this blog post:
1.) I hope it doesn’t sound rant-y
2.) I hope you think of your own situation and decide whether this is you or not.
I have a pet peeve. That pet peeve is people who make themselves the victim. I’m talking about individuals and groups. I believe we all have the power to create who we are and how we present ourselves in the face of adversity. I do not believe that talking about how hard we have it constantly makes our lives progress. I can admit, I have done this myself. I believe teachers are overworked and underpaid and I know I throw myself and others pity parties in honor of that. I truly am trying to get better about it.
We are all allowed to have a bad day from time to time and to give ourselves time to feel bad. However, when that pity becomes a part of your every day being, that is when it becomes self-victimization.
The reason that I’m writing this is because I’ve seen a huge amount of articles on my twitter feed (@JessicaLenore7) and on my Facebook page on various topics. All along the lines of how poorly some group is treated (women, a race, the LGBT community, fill-in-the blank with another group commonly written about). While these conversations about discrimination need to be had, I think they need to be had in a different way. I think when compelling stories are told with the intention of sharing a story about one individual in a group it can start a great conversation. Often though, I believe that people cling to those stories and make them their own. They become the foundation of their being.
Stop being the victim.
If you do not like the way something is then DO something about it. Wallowing in your own self-pity is not the way to get things done. Women, if you’re pissed about not making as much as the men in your office ask for a raise or find a company that values you as much as your male counterparts that will pay you a fair wage. If you feel discriminated against for some reason SAY something to the offender. If you’re upset by something in the government DO your research (and I mean real research not the kind where you find your favorite website that agrees with you and use that) and take to the streets and rally people behind you with quality information.
On an individual level, if you’re unhappy with a situation in your personal life DO something about it. Sitting around complaining won’t get you a change. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself because life sucks won’t get you out of that suck-y place. Again, I know this is a work in progress for me, but I take steps daily to get myself out of situations that make me unhappy. Sometimes it can be a slow process but if you’re moving forward that is what is important. Life sucks for everyone at some point in their life but it’s how you deal with it that makes it stop sucking.
If you are in that place and you realize you have taken on the victim role make list right now of ways you are going to move forward. I swear to you it will make all the difference in the world.