Why My Fire Burned Out

Photo by Pascal NADASI KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

Photo by Pascal NADASI KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

A lot of people I have talked to lately question why I no longer want to teach. More often than that, once I tell them my reasons they try to encourage me to stick it out and that my feelings will pass. Actually, this happens with a lot of things (my stance on marriage, why I don’t want children, etc.) Here’s the thing, my inner fire has burned out on teaching. Here is why:

I don’t like being told what to do. I hate that I constantly get told to stop doing what I’m doing and do it a different, less effective way. Even when I have hard data that my way works better I get told “that’s not how WE do it.”

I hate feeling voiceless. As the person who is in the classroom every day, I should have more say in the structure of the school or school system. Teachers just don’t. There are teacher’s unions but, for the most part, I feel they fight for the wrong things and for the wrong reasons. Unions are about the teachers, not the students and I don’t love that.

Parenting has gone to hell. Parents no longer hold their children responsible for anything. They want their children to be happy but not disciplined and want their children to have everything  they want. Honestly, this translates into ungrateful, lazy children and something needs to change.

I want my creativity back. It’s been lacking since I started teaching, mostly because I get told “no” often by higher powers in education. I’m over that.

My fire is burning elsewhere. I want to be creative, I want to change the world, I want to make people happier, I want to shake things up.

I love my students, I love the moments we have together which makes it hard to move on. I will continue teaching the best damn way I can until I finally get to where I need to and want to be. I will continue to encourage my students to break the molds and do what they love. I will encourage them and love them. Soon, however, I will need to encourage and love myself and follow my heart.

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