Gwenyth Paltrow has always bothered me. She just comes off very pretentious. Every time I hear a quote from her I silently mock her in my head and probably make the faces of a 12 year old mocking their parent.
Last year, she and Chris Martin decided to get a divorce, except she referred to it as “conscious uncoupling.” Everyone mocked her, including me. I thought, “Just call it what it is! You’re divorced like most people in this country!” But I now know the difference and dammit…Gwenyth Paltrow was right in calling it that.
Jon and I broke up over a month ago. It was a very conscious choice and probably one that should have been made awhile ago. We both knew it wasn’t working and we both fought to keep it going because it was “good enough,” or we felt like it should be. We don’t hate each other, in fact we still love each other very much. We are just not meant to be in a romantic relationship, we are meant to be friends. Did we cry? Absolutely! Was it heartbreaking? I cannot imagine anything more painful. It has been difficult but it was the right decision for both of us. We were no longer receiving the fulfillment that we both deserved.
We are still living together for the time being. Our names are on the townhouse together and we need to have the resolved. It’s our home. Until we have that resolved we will continue to live together and that is okay. We still respect each other and care about each other’s well-being.
I’ve never had an ugly break-up. I guess I’ve always understood that relationships and circumstances change. As people, we should always be trying to learn more about ourselves. Sometimes that introspection makes you realize you need something else in your life. It also makes you realize what you want for your future self. We both want very different things and thankfully this relationship has really narrowed down my non-negotiables for a partner.
Gwenyth Paltrow is not the first person to ever use the term conscious uncoupling. Some sources say the term was first coined by a therapist in the 80s. Now, I’m going to use it. I think it’s the best way to describe a situation like ours. Know that I am happy and that I feel better than I have in a long time.