I realized recently that I censor myself and who I am a lot when I’m around new people. If they stick around long enough, it probably comes as a shock when I start being me. I’m weird…we all are, just some of us are scared of our weirdness and stifle it. Here’s the thing, it ALWAYS comes out at some point, so we might as well own it.
I remember when I was younger, I was embarrassed by everything. I would blush like a crazy person if the slightest thing happened. I was reminded at how far (how shameless?) I have come the other day when I was sent to 8th grade to teach. One girl, I’m sure hoping to embarrass me and not knowing who she was up against, raised her hand. I called on her. She announced “You sat in something, because you have crumbs all over your butt!” the class laughed. I stopped and said, “Hey, thanks for letting me know! That won’t even be the most awkward situation I’ll be in this week!” They all stopped laughing and stared… not the reaction they were hoping for.
Luckily for me I teach 5th graders. They think it is hysterical when I do my weird stuff. I sing things, I dance to songs about science topics, I talk to myself and then laugh at the jokes I tell myself. Sometimes I spend my weekend nights coloring in a coloring book and drinking chamomile tea. I fully believe our body is in constant communication with us and we need to listen to what we need (ex: skipping a workout to relax, spending a day on the couch reading, going for a hike on a whim to be in nature). I have a massive obsession with animals, especially farm animals (I will own a house pig someday!) I’m terrified of attractive people (seriously, watch me interact with one some time…shit gets weird.)
Some people I know have an image they are constantly trying to maintain, even if it is to their detriment. They don’t say “no” to things when they want to, they don’t say “yes” when they want to, they don’t do what they want out of fear of judgement, they don’t say what they feel out of retaliation. That’s exhausting and doing no one any favors. Stop. Own your weirdness and own your crazy. We would all be a little bit happier if we just listened to ourselves, did what we wanted and stopped stroking everyone else’s egos.
Own your weirdness, own your crazy, do something for you today.
Confessions of A Likely Spinster 