I Reserve the Right to Change My Mind

The other day as I was reading Danielle LaPorte’s book White Hot Truth

That’s your responsibility as a person, as a human being- to constantly be updating your positions on as many things as possible. And if you don’t contradict yourself on a regular basis, then you’re not thinking.

–Malcolm Gladwell

I had to contain myself a little bit, not to jump for joy when I read this quote. I never have needed permission to change my opinions on something but I was never able to articulate why I can change my opinions quite as well as Malcolm Gladwell did. (Sidenote: I had no idea who Malcolm Gladwell was until I looked him up. He’s a journalist in case you are curious)

In the near future (potentially) I have a new article coming out on Bolde.com about a topic that I have 100% changed my mind on. I know that I am going to have some friends who are probably annoyed that I had this change of heart. I also know that I’m going to have people throwing the “I told you so,” line right in my face. Neither of these reactions is okay. As my experiences change my opinions are apt to change, even strongly held opinions. And let me tell you, I was holding on to this one for a long time (oooh the mystery! What the hell is she talking about?).

Even our opinions on people should and probably will change. I remember feeling quite strongly about disliking someone. I didn’t really know this person and was only basing my opinion on what I knew and what other people said. That was shitty and terrible of me. I’m human, I fuck up. Then after sitting down and talking with this person I completely adored them. Completely. Couldn’t get enough of them, in fact, they were the exact person I needed in my life. Now, I’m using pretty vague language here because this happens to me often…twice just in the past 6 months. I’ve had other people call me on it, but in kind of a negative way. I’m not being wishy-washy I just was presented with more and better information and created a new opinion.

It can also work in reverse. This is a pretty specific story but it is because I addressed it on my blog previously that I am referencing it. I had a family member who was pretty strongly disliked by the rest of the family. I still gave this person a chance and didn’t think ill of them because I had no reason to. She had never been anything but kind to me. However, small signs started showing how unkind of a person she was. Still, these were not directed at me so I kept them in the back of my mind but had not cut this person off.  That changed when my then boyfriend and I were looking for a house together. Mind you, we had been together for 3 years at that point and I’m an adult capable of making my own decisions. She sent me the most horrific box of “presents” and a condescending letter that I could not let go of (the full story is here). That was crossing a boundary for me. So my opinion changed. She was no longer a person I wanted to associate with. And you know what? That is ok.

My point is this, be kind to yourself when you start feeling your opinion change and be kind to each other if someone else’s opinion changes. That means they are growing and changing as an individual and that is a wonderful and beautiful thing.


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